Why My First Church Hire Was A Woman, And Yours Should Be Too

When I first moved to Niddrie Community Church almost 10 years ago I spent the first 6 months or so getting to know who was in the congregation (it was very small). I wanted to find out who was who and who was good at what. I quickly discovered that some of the women in the church felt somewhat marginalised and disenfranchised. It appeared that they had been left to take a back seat in the life and ministry of the church and in the local community they were trying to reach with the gospel. They were on the usual rotas: tea, coffee and the flowers but that was about it.

Women were on the usual rotas: tea, coffee, flowers but that was about it. #women #ministry @mez1971 Click To TweetAs I began to get to know the community of Niddrie it became very clear to me very early on that we needed to hire a community worker and it needed to be a woman. At that time the complementarians weren’t as loud in the UK evangelical scene as they are now, so it was a bit of a risk to make one of my first hires a woman. I had read many articles and blogs from pastors and church planters talking about growing their leadership teams. Very, very few of them talked about hiring a woman in the early stages of their ministry. Even those that did, tended to leave it as one of their later appointments and, even then, only if the money came in. I have seen many a planter’s development plan and often women are just not in them. They will talk about hiring a youth worker, or an executive pastor or a worship leader before they would even consider a woman.

At 20schemes we insist that all of our church planters make sure they are employing a mature woman from the off as they embark on their church planting and/or revitalisation venture. Here are some of my reasons why.

1. Woman make up a large proportion of the communities we are trying to reach

In fact, lone parents make up approximately one-quarter of all families living in Scotland in 2016. Unsurprisingly, nine out of ten of these lone parents are women. In the poorest communities in Scotland, 52% of all the residents are women. That is a lot of vulnerable women with multifaceted pastoral problems (over half of them suffer from a long-term health problem or a disability).
Very few pastors/planters talked about hiring a #woman in the early stages of their ministry. @mez1971 Click To Tweet

2. Women in our communities often face multiple issues which complicate discipleship

So, for instance, millions of women across the UK have admitted to illegally taking prescription drugs during the past year and even more have used street drugs in the same period. Tragically, 45% of women in the UK have experienced at least one incident of inter-personal violence in their lifetime. Statistics also reveal that a staggering 54% of all UK rapes are committed by a woman’s current or former partner and half of all rapes are committed by men who once claimed to love them.

Many of these vulnerable and needy women with complex physical, psychological and spiritual problems, are in our congregations and are in our communities. They crave love, attention and require a lot of time as we counsel and disciple them in the Word. Because their emotional needs are often so great, it’s simply not wise or prudent for a man to invest serious amounts of time into their lives.

3. A majority of pastors are much more likely to fail morally when they get deeply involved in counselling needy women

Whilst that is a broad generalisation, a survey of the 15 men who have preceded me at Niddrie revealed that 1 in 3 of them were removed for offences of sexual immorality. 100% of these men ran into difficulties though intense counselling with the opposite sex. Sadly, our church leaders are not immune to sexual sin and many pastors have fallen in this area with a church member they have been counselling or with somebody they have been evangelising. Counselling and evangelising vulnerable women in the schemes (a large proportion of whom have been sexually abused) is a minefield. Any form of tenderness or a willingness to listen from a male is almost always misunderstood sexually (this is true the other way around as well). A man who listens to them is a very powerful aphrodisiac. Temptation can be for some very hard to resist. They aren’t used to men listening to their problems. They are used to men being the problem.

4. Women should only disciple women

womens-ministryWe realise that there are many ways pastors can counsel members of their congregation safely but we would suggest having a gifted, trained and mature woman would be one of the most helpful. In many churches this type of thing is left to the pastor’s wife or maybe the wife of an elder. Almost invariably, this is not because of giftedness but is due to the position her husband holds within the fellowship. It is fine if she is trained but can be immensely damaging if she is not. Regardless, the point remains that in crisis situations (a daily occurrence here) a mature, Godly woman can continue the relationship on into deeper long lasting friendship in a way a pastor cannot and should not. When we talk of discipleship we do not mean the odd monthly pastoral meeting but the intense, daily walk with God as women do life together.

But, what place for men then?

5. We need godly men to teach women to train godly women

Of course women need the influence of godly men in their lives. The church is to be led by men after all. That much is clear from Scripture. These men have responsibility to teach the whole congregation sound doctrine and to model godliness as per Titus 2. But, they have a responsibility to teach women too. These are Paul’s instructions to Titus.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2:3-5)

Everything we do at Niddrie is overseen by the elders and has the approval of the whole congregation. It is not that we are not involved in the life of women in our church because, clearly we are. Women can see us teach and model godliness in the home and as we preach the Word and lead the meetings. We still counsel couples and single women in certain situations. If with a couple it is with my wife. If with a single woman it can be with my wife or it can be with one of our women’s workers or a friend she trusts. Also, our woman’s pastoral worker reports to the elders regularly so that we can pray intelligently for those with specific needs and difficulties. But, at the heart of it all, we, as the male leaders, are ensuring that our women’s pastoral workers are being supported and trained to do their job well.

Now, we realise some feel that, by equipping women to pastor and train other women, we are not fulfilling the distinctive male only role of pastor as we should. Some feel that we are confusing people by having women in pastoral positions within the church. When we say that our women’s worker pastors our women we don’t mean that she is a pastor, rather, she assists the pastors by providing day-to-day pastoral care to our women. I am often asked by other pastors how we can trust what is being taught and said if we are not present. A few things to say here.

We trust our women because, as with the male leaders, we trained them well in the doctrines of the church before we released them into ministry. In fact, it is remarkably offensive to suggest that by giving women responsibility at this level we are opening the church up to serious error. Far more men have led churches astray than women.

The church is not confused but is, instead, built up as women, and men, are involved in ‘one anothering’. The pastor is not seen as the only one who is qualified to minister among the flock he shepherds. That is a good thing as one man cannot adequately take on this role. Even with a small church and multiple elders we would struggle under the weight of pastoral issues in our congregation.

Not just bystanders or there to cook the meals, the #localchurch needs women's workers. @mez1972… Click To TweetWomen are encouraged that they have a serious part to play in the kingdom of God and that they are not just bystanders or there to cook the meals.

The local church needs women’s workers. Most of the women living in our poorest communities are suffering without the hope of the gospel. They have not heard the good news that can set them truly free from their burdens. Women on schemes need more than women parachuting in to be another worker in their life, perpetuating dependency. They need women who will do life with them every single day of their lives. The harvest is great, the workers are few and women are being left on the shelf. They shouldn’t be. Employing more women for ministry should be our highest priority.


Miriam McConnell (Women’s Worker, Niddrie)

Staff_Miriam_McConnell

Miriam McConnell 20schemes Events Coordinator and Women’s Worker

“Although I didn’t grow up in a scheme church, being a part of one has been really amazing. I’ve learnt so much about myself, God and people and I believe I’ve grown a lot through this experience.

I have a real heart for women who are involved in ministry and who often feel isolated and lonely. I also love spending time with women in the scheme and getting the opportunity to explain the gospel to them.

My role involves discipling/mentoring women in the church, as well as all the female gospel workers and church planters wives. I speak regularly to each one, make visits to them and along with Sharon Dickens (Director of Women’s Ministry at 20schemes) run a monthly training day for them.

Please pray that I would have wisdom from above as I spend time with various ladies who have a variety of struggles and needs. Pray also that my own time with the Lord would be a daily priority for me.”

Female_Outreach_Workers
We seek to recruit women willing to commit to move into the schemes for two years as part of a church planting team in order to develop discipleship relationships with women there.Could that be you?

 

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Posted by Mez McConnell

Mez McConnell, is the Senior Pastor of Niddrie Community Church (Edinburgh, Scotland) and the founder and Ministry Director of 20schemes. He has been involved in full time pastoral ministry, both church planting and revitalisation since 1999.

  1. So men can teach women, but not train or disciple them? How does that work?

    Reply

    1. Hey Marg

      Men teach and train women to teach and disciple other women. As I’ve said men are involved in pastoral situations with women but not in the hands on, daily and intensive discipleship do here on the schemes. Thanks.

      Reply

  2. Great article, Mez! I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it like this.

    Reply

  3. Amen Mez! A lot to think about, but I can confirm much of what you say from experience. But reaching men still proves tough – there seem to be so few men in a postion (willing?) to do it. Women on the other hand seem to be stepping up – which is fantastic while needing serious thought in churches were their role was previously pretty restricted.

    Reply

  4. Archepoimen follower 13 December 2016 at 10:54 pm

    Mez,
    First time to your blog via Tim Challies! I have to say, this is the most biblically sound article I have read regarding Women using their gifts within the local church. Of course women should not counsel men, just like men should not counsel women! The role of the Elders is to give oversight to all ministries not to do all ministry. I could go on, but a hearty Amen sums it up!

    In Him whose Grace is Sufficient,

    Tim

    Reply

  5. Typo in #1 – you mean “women”

    Reply

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