Ministry Pressures: Why Are People Just Not Changing?

Why do some people grow quickly and move on in the Christian life and others drift away or always seem stuck in neutral? Why do 2 young addicts profess faith, get involved in the life of the same church, have the same discipleship opportunities, gain new friendships and yet one quickly begins to flounder whilst the other grows and excels in their Christian life? How do we explain it when we invest hours and hours of intense discipleship into people and yet, when left to their own devices, they continually seem to make the wrong choices and fall into serious sin? Yet others pick up the baton and excel under the challenge of living for Christ? At Niddrie we have what we believe is a quite a comprehensive discipleship programme for new believers and yet still so many fall through the cracks and crumble when intense temptation comes their way. Why? What is the problem? What is going on? What can be done about it?

The answer, my friends, lies one place. It lies in the heart. We all know Jeremiah 17:9, ‘The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?’ We know from Marks Gospel (7v21) that the heart is the root of all sinful behaviour. Verse after verse in the scriptures point us back to our hearts when it comes to tracing our sin problem.

Thomas Chalmers, the well-known Scottish preacher, in his famous sermon,“The Expulsive Power of a New Affection,” says it all.

“Seldom do any of our habits or flaws disappear by a process of extinction through reasoning or “by the mere force of mental determination.” Reason and willpower are not enough. “But what cannot be destroyed may be dispossessed… The only way to dispossess [the heart] of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one.” A young man, for example, may “cease to idolize pleasure, but it is only because the idol of wealth has become the stronger and gotten the ascendancy,” and is enabling him to discipline himself for prosperous business. “Even the love of money ceases to have the mastery over the heart” if it’s drawn into another world of ideology and politics, “and he is now lorded over by the love of power.” But “there is not one of these [identity] transformations in which the heart is left without an object. Its desire for one particular object may be conquered, but . . . its desire for having some one object” of absolute love “is unconquerable.” It is only when admitted “into the number of God’s children through the faith that is in Jesus Christ [that] the spirit of adoption is poured out upon us. It is then that the heart, brought under the mastery of one great and predominate affection, is delivered from the tyranny of its former desires, in the only way that deliverance is possible.” So it isn’t enough to hold out a “mirror of its imperfections” to your soul. It’s not enough to lecture your conscience. Rather, you must “try every legitimate method of finding access to your hearts for the love of him who is greater than the world.”

In ministry we must constantly do two things: (1) Go after the heart by (2) Preaching the gospel. Most pastoral frustration is borne out of anger (usually not expressed) toward those who won’t change or seemingly don’t listen to our (often good and wise) advice. But, if Chalmers is right (and I believe he is) then the answer to all our why’s is simply that people just don’t love Jesus enough. Why has that person gone back to the Heroin? Because Jesus did not completely capture his/her affections. How should we respond to that situation? Return to the gospel and hold out the glorious love of Jesus. Don’t chase them down. Don’t harrass them. Don’t guilt trip them. Don’t try to pressurise them. Just keep proclaiming the gospel. Just keep praying that God, by His Spirit, will lay hold of them and grip their hearts in such a way that only there is only enough room in their life for King Jesus.

Often burnout occurs in our kinds of ministry because we are overwhelmed by the need of others, or we are overburdened by those who seem intent on destroying themselves, even though we know that they know the truth. They are the times when we must go after our own hearts and remind ourselves of the gospel again. We cannot change others no matter how great our pastoral gift or how amazing our expositional ministry may be. The changing of the human heart is exclusively an extraordinary work of God’s Holy Spirit. Only when salvation has truly occurred in the life of a person will we begin to see them hand their lives over to the Lordship of Jesus.

Those who are excelling and growing in our community are not the brightest ones (though many of them are) or even the ones I thought would ‘make it’. They are the ones who, when they understood what Jesus truly sacrificed for them in order to win their souls, consciously made Him their one true love. They’re all over the place at times but you can see that he is the root and source of their affections. So, in the mess of schemes life (any ministry really) try not to get too disheartened by a lack of consistency or people falling away or the ‘rollercoaster’ Christians. It happened to Jesus too. Judas fell away, his best mates dumped Him, the crowds wandered off. Just keep on going for the heart. Preach the gospel. Chalmers maintained that it’s not enough to lecture the conscience. Rather, we must “try every legitimate method of finding access to your hearts for the love of him who is greater than the world.” We can’t change people. We can’t even change ourselves. Our programmes can’t change people. Our love can’t even change people. Only He can do that. Only His love can melt hard hearts. If we can’t change them and if they can’t change themselves then we must hand them over to the great lover of souls. We must pray that He would hold mastery over them. That He would change them from the inside out.

I know this ministry is tiring and I know it is very tough for some of you out there right now. We can sometimes feel our failures more deeply than we rejoice in His victories. But, press on. The harvest is still plentiful. There is still a crop to be had. Some of it will turn out bad and some of it will be magnificent. Don’t let a bad winter stop you from planting again next year. From getting out there and doing it all again.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9).


Posted by Mez McConnell

Mez McConnell, is the Senior Pastor of Niddrie Community Church (Edinburgh, Scotland) and the founder and Ministry Director of 20schemes. He has been involved in full time pastoral ministry, both church planting and revitalisation since 1999.

  1. Well said faithful servant. Thankful for your leadership and passion!


    1. Thanks Beth. Happy Christmas to you.


  2. Man, that’s good, Mez. I appreciate your wisdom and encouragement in this.


    1. Thanks for taking the time to write Rob. Happy Christmas.


  3. I’m a new follower, happened to find you through Challies ‘s blog. I agree with you that we cannot change people. I remember a time when as a young wife I couldn’t understand why my husband could not “be good” or “act as he should.” I guess these statements sound rather childish, but I would rather not unload private memories. Through many years of consistent Bible reading, Bible study, and giving the Holy Spirit free reign to change me from the inside out; my mind-set shifted away from what I felt my husband should or should not be doing and focused on my own relationship and development in Christ Jesus. Not long after my maturity, my husband matured. He became a radically spirit filled dynamic person. It’s human nature I suppose to pay attention to what others should or should not be doing instead of dealing with our own inner life. Pride and ego cause this. I appreciate your post, thanks.


    1. Thanks for writing Annette. Happy Christmas to you.


  4. Thank you very much for this reminder! What a great galvanizer to the soul to realize that change is the work of our sovereign Lord! Our work is faithfulness to the Gospel!! God bless and may the Lord strengthen both of our hands!


    1. Thanks Bo. Happy Christmas.


  5. […] Here are some great thoughts on why people don’t change. […]


  6. Dear Mez, I thank our Heavenly Father for the work you and your team are doing in Niddrie in promoting the Gospel. Do not loose heart. We all come with different degrees of baggage and hang ups and accordingly we vary in growth. It took me eight years as a Christian to come to a place of repentant, brokenness. Years of systematic sinning sadly does not go overnight. Nor the lust and passion of my heart that drove the sin.We are all creatures of habit. Good or bad. You must press on Mez. Pressing on is an aggressive, energetic, endevour. He, Our Lord, has to be our highest desire. If He is not, our passions can run riot, and will. For the day when we all can say like Paul, “for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung,..”

    ‘The Enemy held my will, and of it he made a chain with which he fettered me fast. Out of a perverse will he created wicked desire or lust, my yielding to lust created habit, and habit unresisted created a kind of necessity, by which, as by links fastened to one another, I was kept close shackled in cruel slavery. I had not the excuse I claimed earlier to have, when I delayed serving Thee because I had not yet certainly discovered Thy truth. Now I knew it, yet I was still fettered
    .”Looking back, Augustine would later describe his life before encountering Christ as a misguided and vain quest.
    “But my sin was this, that I looked for pleasure, beauty, and truth not in him but in myself and his other creatures, and the search led me instead to pain, confusion, and error.”


  7. Hi, I was wondering If it’s possible to have your permission to translate into spanish and post to my blog? Thanks


    1. Go for it Anderson.


  8. Richard, London 24 December 2013 at 9:28 am


    I can’t tell you how good and refreshing it is to read this especially from someone not in the US. Down here in England, we have completely lost the plot – after a cursory nod in the direction of sola fide, we are then exhorted, encouraged, commanded, argued, cajoled and nagged to try hard to produce ‘the fruits of repentance’. All so drably man-centred – sanctification by works. My conversion in my mid-30s was followed by a glorious honeymoon period which lasted until the conservative evangelical church got their teeth into me. How many of us do not really understand and trust the scandalous radicality of grace.

    It is only Loveliness that can replace apparent loveliness. I would even go further than your comment to say that appreciating the cost of what we are given can sometimes, in itself, leave us focussed on ‘what we’re getting for Christmas’ mindset. We should be LOST in wonder, love and praise. After all, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

    Incidentally how do you read Philippians 2 v 12-13 ?


  9. Thanx for sharing this Mez. God placed your book “Is anyone out there” in my hands knowing what was going to happen next in my life. He is so wise in growing us in just the right way. Your book was used by the Lord to keep my hope alive and vibrant as my husband and I deal with family members dealing with addiction issues. Your post above puts more perspective on the situation. Thank you!


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